I love a good facebook chat as much as the next guy, but when ol’ Kelly Wilson from “Miami FL” contacted me, I had one of the funnest conversations of my life. Below is the full conversation, unabridged and totally true!
How are you doing there ?
I am fine
where are you from ?
that is south africa
I am from Miami FL
But now in Nigeria to complete my education which is almost done
I was in Miami last year
how long have you been on FB ?
i dunno like 2 years
why are you on here ?
what are you looking for on FB ?
I’m here to play farmville and pick my nose
I am here seeking for a long term relationship
Hmm are you not married?
you do all the cooking and cleaning
you got kid ?
and milk the cows
and I will watch TV
you don’t mind having 8 children then?
Hmm i don`t know
well my wife must bare children
8 of them
all named steve
even if they’re girls
Hmm that is great
well what do you do for a living ?
so do you agree to the 8 children
we need to get this straight
well we will see and we just need to know each other better
but you’re going to need me to put money into your account right
so you can come here
why did you say that ?
how else are you going to fly here?
Hmm well i don`t want to rush into any relationship
I need to know you better and see how things work
well you’re going to have to agree to the 8 kids first
what do you do for a living ?
steve, steve, steve, steve, steve,steve, steve and steve
I am a very wealthy investment banker
I also own a couple of sweat shops
to make the clothing
so we’ll have jobs for the kids sorted
Well do you want me to come there?
That is nice
Do you want me to come there ?
it depends how well you cook
and how well you get along with the other wives
I think if there is an understanding there is no problem then
mainly Andisiwe and Precious
they’re the possesive ones
But why did you want me to come there ?
to be my wife
How can i get there ?
I guess I’ll have to pay for your flight
How are you going to do that ?
I’ll have to put money in your account
you’re in nigeria right
from the USA
because that makes perfect sense
you’re on parol?
you went to jail
thats so weird I did too!
well i don`t have an account here
Is there a western union money transfer there ?
how much do you need?
I don`t know
I don`t know how much it will take to fly there
do you have an idea ?
should I just send you $5000
and we’ll have to start aking children straight away
I have a business to run
when are you going to send it ?
and the other kids are getting old
how about tonight?
well what is the time there right now ?
maybe just send me an email with a photo of you and your details
can you send a photo of yourself in a bikini please
Are you going to send it today ?
after you send me the email
this is so exciting
I’ve been waiting to add another wife to the equation
Well I dont have bikini pics i just have an ordinary pics
so can you go now and send it ?
do you maybe have any photographs of yourself in a gimp suit?
with a whip?
well can i give you my details here ?
because I’m really going to send you $5000
thats what I’m gonna do
Or can you come here to see me or i shoul come ?
here is my details
Address …101 Western Drive
Zip Code ……23401
that is the details
when are you going to send it ?
so you’re going to send me an email after that
of you in a gimp suit
If i get the money i will send you everything and give you the flight details
let me just go send this money order of $5000 to an address in Nigeria…
and then you can send me the pic of you in a gimp suit
You will need to send it in cash
why didn’t I think of that
you’re going to make such a clever wife
go now and send it
I might even let you out the house once a month
go and send it now so that i can get my flight board
if you wear a bikni
I just want to flirt for a while
How am i going to get the details here baby ?
I don’t know baby
what details do you mean?
Can you email it to me on FB here
I mean the details you going to get from WESTERN UNION
I’ll go to western Union NOW
and then email it to you here on fb
I can’t WAIT to meet you!
Okay go now i will be waiting
I can`t wait also baby
I LOVE YOU!
I love you too
Okay how many hours are you going to get back ?
LOVE YOU MORE
love you too
So this just goes to prove that these scammers are actually pretty stupid. This is what “Kelly Wilson” Looks like…
If you wanna go abuse ‘her’ (it) on facebook, you can find her profile HERE.
Oh and don’t accept randoms on Facebook, unless you’re stoopid like me, and if you do… make sure you make fun of them and post it on your blog.
Follow my ass.